1) ” You are the ‘White-out’ on a Post-it. Full of optimism and chance.” Thank you Drew Beaumont. That is an extremely odd compliment that I, 100% enjoy. You my friend are like the springtime in 2015, rarely seen , but always welcome !
2) Fun Fact : Every girl you know has some sort of survival pack in that bag she lugs around. A grouping of items that reinforce the fearlessness it takes to go out. To maintain the flawless “going out look” should it last longer than need be.
The usual suspects are present : makeup , lip gloss, deodorant , gum. Maybe a hairbrush or Hairspray. Than theres the survival 2.0 pack. Includes : full make up, toothbrush, Makeup wipes, definitely hair product of some sort, and panties. Purse panties are a real thing and every woman has them, whether they’re willing to admit it or not. Which bag do you carry : the usual suspects or 2.0?
3) If you can’t follow along with the majority of The Eminem Show album word for word, i hate you .
4) ” The faces he makes on stage resemble the faces he makes during sex. This both turns me on and disgusts me.” – Bathroom wisdom via The Townehouse in Sudbury. Oh Scuzbury, you never fail to entertain me.
5) Have you ever been so deep in the internet that before you know it , it is 5am and you are %100 convinced you can build that tiny house out of a shipping container with nothing but the junk laying around your already existing house??? I always tend to find myself feeling more ambitious at 5am than any other time of the day. Then the sun rises and as the light slowly opens my eyes to my surroundings I remember that I am not a carpenter or builder or handy in any way actually. No matter how much the internet tries to convince me other wise, it is not happening.
6) Have you ever tried to play ‘Real life Maury : Guy or Girl’ ?? I’ve been playing alot lately. 9/10 – would recommend.
7) Watching your friends boyfriend dance around in her dress to Taylor Swift . Nothing beats it. He has the moves of an angel , the outfit of Tyra Banks and the belly of a Buddah.
8) If you go to dinner with your significant other and sit on the same side of the booth, well I’m just gonna say it – you suck. Everyone in the restaurant is making fun of you. You are not cute, this isn’t a Nicolas Sparks movie. This doesn’t even make sense. It has all the awkward qualities of waiting room conversations. The neck strain. The impossible eye contact. What happens if you are opposite handed and didn’t think about it before sitting down to your meal ? Now you are just sitting there, smashing elbows, or best scenario – taking turns on bites … who are you kidding? you hate it was much as everyone else around you. Just call it . Sit across from your partner , cram your yap in comfort and actually look at the person when you chat with them. You will have a much more enjoyable date with much less embarrassment !
9) Anyone else get excited when they see the guy who looks like the love child of the Cheshire Cat and The Penguin from Batman Returns ( undoubtedly one of Danny Devito’s best roles) strutting around town like he just gassed someone with his umbrella?? He might be approaching my number one spot for Sault Characters. I want to collect them all.
10) The Longest Ride – the longest movie … ever! 1/10 would not recommend. Walked out. Fact. Ew.
Hit the Bricks , Loppers !
Cheers , xo